Leave It Behind, But Don't Forget It

You know those text messages, facebook messages, direct messages, or voicemails––wait, people don't leave those much anymore do they––that people leave saying something exactly like or similar to, "How've you been?" or, "I miss you," or the guilt-trip inducing (maybe not intentionally...maybe), "I hope all is well with you, take care?"  Messages like those usually translate into my head as, "Why the fuck did you disappear out of my life when I was there for you, you asshole?"

A lot of my peers (I guess that's what I can call them) have a hard time understanding how relationships with a significant other or friendships can just vanish into thin air without any warning and in some cases, without any real reason.  Here's the thing, people grow apart.  It's just how life is.  You meet someone, become good friends with them, LEARN FROM THEM (keep that in mind) and you and/or that person enter a new chapter in your lives.

I know––it's hard; I didn't say moving on from a close relationship was supposed to be easy.  But don't sit there and feel BAD about it.  If you find that after a certain point in the relationship/friendship you're the only one putting in much effort to maintain it......PUT THE PHONE DOWN.  You'll find one of two things when you do: 1, the person will pick up the phone and call because he or she is concerned as to why he or she hasn't heard from you; or 2, you get no phone call, text message, bird mail or any other kind of message from the other person to see how you're doing.  If you find the first thing––great!  If you consistently find the second, then it's time that you move on because they probably already have...or don't care enough to maintain the relationship.  I know it sounds harsh, and it may not even be true in some cases.

When I get those messages asking me where I've been, I honestly haven't forgotten about the person.  I usually think about those people three to four times a week; and you would think that if I did think about them that much I would just pick up the phone and keep in touch....well I'm pretty bad at that.  And it's nothing personal; that's just how I am.  There are other people like me; and if you're close enough to that other person you will know if that's just how they are.  But what's IMPORTANT to note is that if someone hits you up on a daily basis and then stops calling you, messaging you, etc., then you need to let it go.

Don't REGRET the friendship or relationship.  That's one thing many of my peers don't really understand.  They start to regret all of the time and effort, or "effort," they put into it.  The relationships we build with people are meant to be in our lives so that we can learn from them.  We learn about the mistakes we've made through them, we learn about our likes and dislikes through them, we learn about OURSELVES through them, and it's also important to note that we GROW into the beautiful people that we are through them.

Having to let go because you or the other person has entered a new chapter can be tough, but don't regret it––and don't forget what you've learned from it.  One of the best ways to learn about ourselves and our lives is through our interactions with other people.

On a side note, sorry for the "preaching."  I promise I'll have actual stories/real-life scenarios of mine soon.